But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
