I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
