just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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