Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
