i'm signing you up for texting rehab
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
