we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
