I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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