I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
