you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
