don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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