We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just threw up on my dentist
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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