I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
