After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
