I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
