I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wish there were birth control emojis
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
