told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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