So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
