i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
