margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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