good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize
