My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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