He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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