i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
