think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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