Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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