the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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