we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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