So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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