I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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