Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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