Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
