Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
