Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize