I met the friendliest cop last night
time to smoke my breakfast
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize