SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
false alarm. still invincible.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're like the curious george of whores
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
