I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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