if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish i was in the wii world.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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