WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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