i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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