Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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