would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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