Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
