in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize