My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
