I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
