I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
