Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
