Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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