he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
