I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
