why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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