I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize