I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ladies don't puke and tell
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
