Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
