are you still at the devil's house?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
