i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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