i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
