Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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