I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
