i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
