I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm passing your future prison.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
