we have officially lost it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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