Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
