Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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