I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
