would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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