Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
